Appendectomy Recovery ft. Hospital Swag

07-12-2018 14:12

Sick, slick and stylish. That’s how I felt last night, when I had to get dressed in this hospital geddup that looks like the striped pajamas that the bananas wear in my childhood television show “bananas in pyjamas.” I’m honestly surprised they fit me.

But what I’m feeling right now, in this hospital bed, is disappointment after hearing that the only thing I can ingest for the next three days is porridge and hot water. RIP me. Porridge can be more accurately as chicken noodle soup but instead of chicken, it’s pork, and instead of noodles, it’s rice, and instead of, like, lunch, it’s for every meal!

*later update: that’s only if your lucky. I just ate some disappointing, flavorless porridge for dinner tonight. Honestly flavorless an like why.

Anyway Yeah so I just got my appendix removed! In China! And if you were to ask me how I expected my last two weeks in China to be, I would not have said “yeah for sure I’ll be in the hospital giving them a piece of me (literally)”

YEAH SO (whoops didn’t mean to caps lock) yesterday around 11:30am, I started to feel crampy. My back and stomach hurt and I thought I just needed to lie down and take some ibuprofen. However, it progressively got worse, and around 2:30 I told Nina (chinese coordinator) to take me to the hospital. I get stomach pain all the time, but it usually goes away when I lay on my stomach or if I take ibuprofen. However, it was just getting worse in every position I tried to lay in, even after an hour of taking medicine.

Nina came home to take me to the hospital and we were sent to emergency and I got a ultrasound (which heckin HURT) and a blood test. Results were: appendicitis. At first she gave me the option to have surgery or have an injection/some medicine that will help it go away in a week, and the price of surgery scared me, so I thought “how about pills,” but then the blood test results came back and they said I needed surgery.

From there on, i had to do a NUMBER of uncomfortable things for surgery prep, including BUT NOT LIMITED TO

-pee in a cup

-poop in a cup

-get a shot in my bare butt with Nina in the room (she looked away)

-wear a seatbelt in a wheelchair (this was more weird than it was uncomfortable like I don’t even wear a seatbelt in the back seat.)

-other things that I don’t really wanna talk about due to the scarring nature 🤷‍♀️

Then FINALLY they wheeled me away and knocked me out so I didn’t have to writhe in discomfort anymore.

Apparently it is customary in China after a surgery goes well for the surgeon to take a picture with the parents of the person who had surgery and the removed organ, so… meet my new parents, Rachel and Chelsea.

A lot of people have asked me if I was nervous to have surgery in a foreign hospital where I don’t speak their language, but 1. I was in so much pain that I didn’t care what happened, I just wanted the pain to end. And 2. Maybe asian stereotypes can be racist but Chinese doctors? Seems like a jackpot to me.

When Nina is gone, we communicate with google translate (#godsend) and it says things like “did you have anal exhaust” when asking about my flatulence history.

P.S. anal exhaust hurts when your insides are torn up.

Also, the IV was referred to as “potion,” so I got that magic stuff flowing through my veins, friends.

Nina didn’t want me to be alone so she brought Rachel to stay with me and I’m really thankful for that. Apparently the other girls said they’d come stay with me if they had to, but didn’t really wanna. Can’t for sure say I’d be any different.

Every few hours I have to get up and go for a walk. Today on our walk, we found one of our students! playing hookey. At the hospital. Because it’s the place to be when you don’t wanna go to school. It was really fun to see a familiar face. I love those kids.

So anyway I don’t know when I’m getting out of here but I hope soon because it’s not rlly my my favorite place to be. The girl who shares my room had the same procedure and she’s still here like 5 days later. I’m not interested in that life. But maybe atleast now I can finish the Mandarin Duolingo unit and still have no idea what anything in China says 🙂

Please enjoy my amateur meme game

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