Why Toronto sucks by Terry Tam

17-05-2019 14:05

I never chose the hater life, the hater life chose me. I always said that HATE is strong word. It promotes violence, death and suffering. But, I can say that i do NOT hate anyone in particular, but i do hate the beautiful city of Toronto and their sports. The Maple Leafs, Raptors, Blue Jays and the City itself. Here’s why…

The Maple Leafs

I think it’s pretty obvious why they made this list… As a Montrealer, i grew up watching the Habs play and it was ingrained in my soul to hate the Bruins and the Leafs. I don’t mind the Bruins because i appreciate their consistent success and the style they play unapologetic-ally. I tolerate the Sabres and the Senators because they play in the same division, and am indifferent towards the Rangers, Red Wings and Blackhawks because they have a small rivalry from the Original Six days. The Leafs have been more tame lately, a bit humbled by their lack of success. They haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1967, have been bounced in the first round three years running and have no claim to any throne (Game of Thrones reference).

The Leafs have assembled an awesome team now and the fans are already riding their dicks faster than a stripper at Chez Pare. When They brought Brendan Shanahan on to run their Hockey Operations, he signed Mike Babcock. Babcock was a good coach from the 90’s and early 2000’s with the Red Wings. Since then, the game has changed and I’m not sure he has been able to adapt. With players like Auston Matthews, Will Nylander, John Tavares and Mitch Marner the Leafs couldn’t win their division and were eliminated this year by the Bruins in the forst round in seven games. Tough series for either team. My problem is that the Leafs fanbase and the organization was shocked!!! How could this be? We said we would win the cup this year. NOOOOO you’re wrong. Join the Habs on the gold course.

The Raptors

The Toronto Raptors are on my do not like list mostly because of their fanbase and Drake. Drake writes songs about Lebron, tries to get bukkaked in the Heat locker room after the Miami Heat won the Championhip. But, as soon as Toronto shows some promise with Derozan and Lowry he starts showing up to games and being the ultimate fanboy. I like Drake’s music just as much as the next white guy but as soon as he came on as the Raptors Ambassador and brought along his annoying fanbase to cheer on the Raptors, i lost it. I was a huge fan of Vince Carter and Tracy Mcgrady back in the day. Couldn’t get enough of them but i loath what the Raptors have become. Babies that feel they’re the dominant team in the East. They needed to rwach for the Kawhi Leonard and trade someone in DeRozan, that is considered a top player in the league, to try to beat the East. Losing Derozan meant ruining his best friend Kyle Lowry. Classic Toronto, where they think that players actually want to stay there. Kawhi will leave and they lost someone who was willing to finish his career in Toronto, all for a loss in the Eastern Conference finals to the Milwaukee Bucks.

The fans are horrible too. Out of nowhere I see Raptors jerseys and We The North hats and shirts all around Montreal. makes me sick. Looking forward to seeing Kawhi on another roster next year. By Raptors!! Nice try.

The Blue Jays

Simply put, the Blue Jays wouldn’t exist without the success of the Montreal Expos in the 70’s. The Blue Jays and Expos had a constant battle for TV rights. Poor business decisions by the Expos ownership let to the MLB holding vote in 2001 on relocation of the team to Washington in 2003. Paul Godfrey, Blue Jays President Paul Godfrey saw a perfect opportunity to vote out the only competition. Bye Bye Expos. Even when I worked for Rogers, ownership group of the Blue Jays, I never supported them and will never.

Really sums up the Jays season

The Blue Jays have had some success recently and they did it the right way, building their talent and acquiring good ball players. BUT… again the fans fucked up again when they became outraged when Vlady Guerrero Jr showed up to his first Major League game in his fathers Expos uniform. Vlady Sr. is considered to be one of the best players in the last 25 years, so why can’t his son commemorate his fathers legacy? Because it offends the stuck up fans of the garbage city of Toronto. Which leads me to my next point the City of Toronto.

The City of Toronto

The New York of Canada. Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Anytime you compare yourself to someone else shows you have no balls. OK I’m exaggerating but fuck, create your own identity. Their boroughs are all artificial and the people are mostly from other parts of Canada. The culture is fake like their sports fan base. There are some pretty good restaurants there but not compared to Montreal.

All this to say that I don’t HATE TORONTO, I’m just a hater of Toronto. Try making sense of that because I can’t.

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