Blue Balled Bagel Bitch Is A Horrible Person Who Deserves To Cry Himself To Sleep Masturbating To The Sears Catalogue Every Night Until He Dies

12-07-2019 16:07

 

Everyone and their mother has been talking about Chris Morgan, AKA Bagel Guy, after he was seen in a bagel shop flipping out  because some employee there allegedly laughed at him for being 5 feet tall.

 

 



Savage. What kind of animal films like this vertically?

More from the New York Post:

“A Long Island bagel shop customer was caught on camera lashing out at other patrons in a bizarre tirade about women rejecting him because of his short stature.

“Why is it OK for women to say, ‘Oh you’re 5 feet’ on dating sites — you should be dead. That’s OK?” the unidentified Bagel Boss customer roared in a video shared to Twitter on Wednesday.”

Translation – I deserve pussy simply for having a pulse. How dare women have a type! They should be required to felate this guy out of pity because he gets rightfully rejected on dating sites for not being tall enough to go on a date to Six Flags.

It was so satisfying to see the dude from Happy Gilmore step in and be the hero we all needed.

And you can count on him….meeting your bitch ass in the parking lot.

Bootleg Tony Mazz has been doing shit like this for years too. From Heavy.com:

“Morgan Has YouTube Videos Showing Him in Confrontations at a 7-Eleven, a Library, a Bar & With a Neighbor & He Calls a Woman a ‘Ghetto Hoodrat’ in Another Video”

Who gets in a fight at the library? A guy who’s been desperate for years to become Internet famous, because at least then he’d have a shot at pity poon. And that’s exactly what he’s ended up getting out of this according to him:

“My phone is blowing up like the president,” Morgan told The Post. “I haven’t even got to my friends.” And Morgan says the rant seen ’round the world has suddenly changed his luck with the ladies. “I got girls hitting on me I don’t even know,” he said.

He’s not even crazy. He’s just a piece of shit who’s been doing this on purpose for years because he wanted this to happen.

Oh, and he’s calling himself MLK too.

“Morgan, a Divorced Cleaning Company Owner, Says He Is Glad the Bagel Boss Video Went Viral & Calls Himself the Modern Day Martin Luther King.

“I’m sick of getting constantly lied to and used on dates. And then they dump me. They tell me I’m too short,” he told the Daily Mail. “They don’t have a job, or a job as good as mine. They don’t have a car. They are more overweight… and they are judging ME?”

Here’s an idea – maybe the fact that you’re a walking embarrassment who can’t get his life together might be a bigger factor for your failure at the poon parade. This is what he does to women who don’t worship his Long Island lizard.

 “So you don’t want to go back to my place? You don’t want to hang out? You don’t want to fool around? You know I spent $750,000?”

No one in the history of mankind has ever wanted to go back to your place. That’s why you sit there every night, eat TV dinners, jerk off to Match.com, and cry yourself to sleep.

“$750,000 I said I was gonna spend on her and she doesn’t even wanna let me fool around with her. Really??”

Yea, it’s almost as if she doesn’t like being treated like a hooker, and highly doubts that someone who drives around in a piece of shit like this….

Can afford to pay her more than $7.50. This guy definitely has taken chicks out to dates at Dairy Queen, asked them to split the bill, and then can’t figure out why they don’t wanna overlook his physical failings and get to know him more.

A lot of people are blaming this on little man syndrome.

“After his divorce in 2007, Morgan seemed to hold onto a disdain towards women and men who are larger than him.

“I’m just not tolerating this anymore,” Morgan declared. “Some of those girls found it funny. That’s why I have resentment towards women. I find them all to be stupid, gold-digging liars.”

The 5’0″ Morgan calls himself a prophet and the modern day Martin Luther King.

“I have a mission. The girls hate me, they don’t like me, that’s fine,” he added. “I’m not stopping and the world is going to hear me. I want equality for everybody.””

But lots of dudes are small and don’t act like this. This is the result of someone this small living in the hellhole known as Long Island. It’s almost impossible to come from Long Island and not be a flaming bag of queefs.

Then there’s this video of him harassing two Pakistani guys running a mini mart, allegedly because they asked him how tall he was.

“Pakistan? Really? You know how much money our country gives you? F*cking third-world toilet countries,” Morgan said. “If it wasn’t for our country, you wouldn’t be working here.”

Bitch, shut the fuck up. You give nothing because you’re a failure who probably pays next to nothing in taxes. You also live in Long Island, so you’ve forever given up the right to call any other place a third world toilet.

The bottom line is that amusing as Chris Morgan was to watch, let’s not forget that he’s a terrible person who thinks that he’s owed pussy, and that anyone who doesn’t give it to him is doing so because he’s short. In reality he’s uglier on the inside than he is on the outside, and he’s mad at the world because he’s such a massive failure. Hey Chris, I found the perfect girl for you.

 

She’ll be out in a few months, definitely give her a call. Heard she gives great head, and advice.

 

Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:




Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

Read more...