A Ridiculous Review About the 61st Grammys (10/11 Feb)

12-02-2019 09:02

It’s almost 2 in the morning, I’ll add pics later

The Grammys is about celebrating music. Music can heal. Music can revive. Music can save. Music can bring Michelle Obama to the 61st Grammys.

This is literally just me sharing my opinion on what’s happening while watching. I might have skipped a few things, because I don’t give a shit. This is dedicated to my boyfriend. I give a shit about him.

But because I like rating things I’ll rate it with middle fingers(5 of them mean f a n t a s t i c, thank you, next bitch.)

I rate my boyfriend πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–• because he feeds meπŸ’ƒ he’s okay with me wearing his clothes πŸ’ƒ he hasn’t ran away yet πŸ’ƒ he thinks I’m pretty as soon as I wake up πŸ’ƒ he looks at me like I’m literally food and it’s such a turn on πŸ’ƒ wait this isn’t about him. Let’s get on to what you’re actually here for.

___ So the Grammys___

Spoiler alert: At the grammys a lot can happen in 15 minutes. I mean,
the 61st annual Grammys had LGBTQ women take over and I’m so excited about that.
Alicia Keys played two pianos at once. It warms my heart that she gave the perfect heart felt recognition to her piano teacher, and it warms my cold heart even more to know that the same teacher is teaching her son too.

JLO and Smokey performed ‘My Girl’ you remember?
“I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of May
Well I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl…”

For me personally, this was an award’s show that was filled with overwhelming nostalgia, and some enlightenment. That’s already 5 ratings πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•

I caught the show a little late.

But I did research on what I missed luckily, I don’t want to experience FOMO for thumb sakes, no. I only missed the opening act, Camilla’s. It’s okay. I hear it was great. I’m sure it was, it’s the talented Cabello.

I only caught the show an estimation of 12 minutes in. I literally just tuned in 2 minutes before Shawn Mendes performed In My Blood with Miley Cyrus, everybody! (πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•) Holy shit, it was beautiful. This song was my song of 2018, and will always be my anthem. Because it perfectly describes my anxiety, but how I refuse to let it get the best of me IT JUST ISNT IN MY BLOOO-AH-OOD. And THIS is why, here’s the lyrics: (it’s the entirety of the lyrics sorry not sorry)

Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood

Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you’ll feel better
Just take her home and you’ll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?

Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I’m crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood

It isn’t in my blood

I’m looking through my phone again, feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I’m trying to find a way to chill, can’t breathe, oh
Is there somebody who could
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I’m crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood

It isn’t in my blood

I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now

Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood

It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn’t in my blood

For once I was satisfied with the best pop/dua nominations, and Yesss lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper won! ‘The Shallows’ is honestly beautiful. (πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•)

What Gaga said really touched me: ‘We gotta take care of each other, so if you see somebody that’s hurting don’t look away… And if you’re hurting, even if it might be hard, try to find that bravery within yourself to dive deep and go tell somebody and take them in your head with you.’ This was on mental illnesses.

I was introduced to a beautiful singer and songwriter, Kasey Musgraves. She performed ‘Rainbow’ and it is blissful. If Ruth B, and Cleo Sol mashed up, and decided to write/produce a song, THAT WOULD BE IT. (πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•)

And I agree with Alicia, THAT WAS GORGEOUS.

Quick comment, JANELLE MONAΓ‰ GODDDAAAYYYYUUM. I agree with the hostess, I’m looking at pink differently. Holy shit that outfit she was wearing? I either want to wear it, orrrr the other comment is not so PG rated unfortunately sorry. Actually, I just love the top part. I love the shoes and sexy stockings though. I wanna see this girl bend over and do yoga lmao sorry ma. Wait, what about vagina? She said something about vagina. If you wanna know, go watch the performance, she’s super sexy I promise. And I’d be just as sexy if I knew freaken Michelle Obama was watching oh my god! (πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•1/2) I try to type without having that vine in the back of my head yelling ‘watch your profanity’ but the moment I start to type I can’t fucking help myself. Okay, I’ll chill now.

Holy shit those twin sisters from Grownish are here, Holy vegan. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Who are they again? Ugh. I can’t remember their name, I’m sorry. [n hour later: Chloe x Hale πŸ˜‰ ]

About an hour ago the electricity just came back on, loadshedding yay the joys of being south afreaken kill me now, which lasted for an hour. And it’s raining!!!!

Fun fact: keys won 15 Grammys.


Post Malone just mashed up with red hot chilli peppers say whaaaat, I’m crine.

Post looks good with that fresh cut, and is singing about cigarettes and broken backs — ahhh his singing voice is so damn beautiful. (Post alone: πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•1/2)

He performed Rock star, I know where 21 savage be at.

Insert memes right here.

I’m gonna be a bit rude now, but the hair cut of the lead singer from Red Hot Chilli Pepper’s is not the only horrible thing about this whole performance. This song unfortunately sucks in my opinion. I can barely make out what he’s singing. The only upside is that Post is on stage with them, but that’s literally it. I hate to be Simon Cowell, but it’s a no from me. There’s like two 40 year olds rocking on stage with their shirts off, what the fuck? I just hyped up the Grammys for my boyfriend, and now I’m disappointed. I mean damn I really love the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, but this was a major cringe moment I’m sorry guys. (Zero ratings)

Seeing Anna Kendrick walk in with that cute pink fluffy dress and cute pony tail made me try to forget about that horrible, horrible performance. I had a smile on my face at this point.

‘If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one’ this was a quote from Anna talking about Dolly Parton, and it’s honestly a new motto now.

Hey, yeah 911 fashion police? What’s up with Katy looking like Halsey?

Miley Cyrus ft. Dolly – Jolene was indeed a 3 star event. (πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•) Lol that k-pop group was in the audience, so is Noah and Billy Ray Cyrus. I donno man seeing Dolly and Miley on stage is bringing back Hanna Montana Vibes and I want to cry coz my childhood is over and forever missed. The audience after jolene was absolutely phenomenal. I’m not gonna lie, this next Dolly track? I have to google this one. I don’t know this song, but all I know is it’s beautiful and Miley Cyrus is such a beauty. She’s so hot though, women crush for centuries ladies and gents.

The dress Dolly is wearing is defos a nominee for my future wedding dress. Wow.

Dolly blessed us with a new song. And it’s b r e a t h t a k i n g.

My favourite dolly performance from tonight has to be 9-5

Yes dolly deserves this spotlight for sure.

She’s been at it since 1967, she was big in the 70s and 80s. Not so popular in the 90s, but she became commercial in the 000s and well she’s not forgotten since.

This woman has had 25 songs reach number 1 for the Billboard country charts. And she reached an amazing milestone of having 110 career charted singles for over 40 years.

The lady that never dies has earned nine Grammy Awards (including her 2011 Lifetime Achievement Grammy) and a total of 46 Grammy Award nominations, the most nominations of any female artist in the history of the prestigious awards.

I’m sorry but I fast forwarded through Cardi’s performance. Absolutely garbage. Men aren’t trash, Cardi’s performances are. (Zero ratings here)

Kacey Musgraves won country album of the year. What you should know about me is I might listen to rap, corny pop songs, and even rock… But I also have a very soft spot for country. And if you can’t jam from Blink 182 to Biggy to Eminem to soul jazz to bon Jovi to country, you need to leave because you’re wasting my time and you don’t understand good music and variety bitch.

And of course the hostess has to entertain us with her performances. My favourite person to play piano and speak at the same time has to be Alicia Keys.

Oh my god, she performed killing me softly.

She covered Use Somebody by kings of Leon. She sang her own version of in my feelings by Drake, in a slower more RnB, more of an Alicia way. I’d be more of a fan if she released it.

She performed the chorus of empire State of mind and I fucking lost my shit.

God’s plan won best rap song. By the way. Ayyy Drake. His beard is lit lol wut.

Woah-woah. Drake was still busy with his acceptance speech. The Grammys just cut to commercial, I just heard him say ‘but’ let the man finish.

His speech was basically dedicated to artists who don’t receive the recognition they deserve.

Here’s his speech:

We play an opinion based sport, not a factual based sport. This is a business where sometimes it’s up to a bunch of people who may not understand what (we) have to say. If there’s people who have regular jobs and come out in the rain, come out in the snow, and use their hard earned money to buy tickets to come to your shows, you don’t need this here, I promise you that. You already won — but” and there comes on an advertisement. Welcome to society everyone. Why can’t this happen when someone is being racist, or sexist, or being violent? Why can’t they just stop like they stopped Drake from telling us something. Something I wish I could know. Something someone out there needed to know. Anyway, the reps of the Grammys said it’s because of a natural pause, funny because he was lowkey trashing the irrelevance of a Grammy, anyway they assumed he was done and claimed they confronted Drake but Drake said he was okay with his speech and it wasn’t necessary to add on. This shit caught my attention, so πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–• but irl, I just gave you a red card motherfucker.

Diana Ross’s cute little 9 year old grandson was the cutest freaken thing of the night. πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•

I feel like I’ve lived this before, guys?

But anyway — Diana appeared in an overwhelming red dress and performed. I wasn’t feeling it, sadly. (πŸ–•)

Oh wow, lady Gaga’s ‘Shallow Love’ performance is everything right now. It’s definitely some sort of comfort for how crazy these two months of 2019 have been, hey?
I definitely think this is my favourite performance of the night SO FAR. Oh yeah. Love you gaga.
The intro of the song is my favourite:

Tell me somethin’, girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

That trippy part at the end where gaga eye fucks the camera for like 7 seconds was…. Nerve wrecking. How am I going to sleep now.

Just like a porno, I regret fast forwarding through that Travis Scott performance. I wasn’t feeling the first song, and when I pressed play it looked like a zombie apocalypse it was crazy. A flash mob ran to a cage that has Travis trapped inside. It’s an epic performance though. Yeah, the party never ends. Travis jumped out of the cage, oh my Kylie Jenner.

Literally just after her performance

The stunning, British and poppy star Dua Lipa (not surprisingly because I love her) received the honour of taking home that well deserving trophy for best New artist.
I just want to announce that this was my favourite statement from the show: Dua: β€œI am honoured…. alongside so many incredible female artists this year, because I guess this year we’ve really stepped up.” This was a heyyou moment at outgoing Grammys president Neil Portnow, who last year received major backlash when he said women should β€œstep up” if they wanted to win more awards. Women accomplish so much, even while bleeding, bitch.
πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–• This is the ratings, and a personal message.

I disagree with Cnet’s list so here is my top performances of the 61st annual Grammys

1. Shawn Mendes ft Miley Cyrus – In My Blood (4)
2. Lady GaGa – Shallow (4)
3. Brandi Carlile (hands down I loved the choreography and the chorus, god damn.) (5)
4. Alicia Keys (our host) (4)
5. Dan + Shay (3)
6. H.E.R (3)
7. Janelle Monae (3)
8. Kacey Musgraves (2)
10. St Vincent and Dua Lipa. (4)
11. Jenifer Lopez, Smokey (and Alicia) – A TRIBUTE (3)
12. That crazy Travis performance (title: can’t say) (5)

If I used middle fingers people would thing I’m on my period, as per usual.

Whatever is not mentioned was not enjoyed, period

I stopped reviewing because I’m not some sort of review god ok and I got bored, I put the TV off. No man I don’t care anymore. I’ll update the overall rating in the next 48 hrs. It’s 01:35 am I wanna fucking sleep.

By the way I watched it again 9 hrs later. But only the first 20 minutes, I’ll catch up again later.