Jnco

19 Mar 19
Like A Good Ghoul Should

I sprained my ankle Sunday. It was a brutal freak accident involving high-heeled clown shoes And tripping over my enormous penis… I digress. Drove myself to the ER where they told me how hard I had fucked myself up, and that if I baby it I can be back to work this next Sunday. I […]

17 Mar 19
Spook du jour

Coming in hot with the overt EVIL DEAD influences is the SOV regional horror flick, CANNIBAL CULT. After the misconceived multi-colored, multi-font title credits and one big ugly screen wipe, the story begins. Camp Ford, 1950… A camp director plays with demonic forces and kills his co-worker/wife with a machete. He then snaps his daughter’s […]

12 Mar 19
debutiful

T Kira Madden cooks instead of meditates and isn’t really sure how much she’ll like eating out on her upcoming book tour for her memoir Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls. (Bookstores, find the best soup near your location and let her know.) Throughout the pieces in her debut memoir, she talks about trying […]

12 Mar 19
Memoirs of a Stay at Home Mom

For a while, low-cut jeans were all you could find unless you just wanted tapered-leg, boob-holstering denim.

Obviously, being a teen girl and not an eighty-year-old woman, I wanted nothing to do with tapered-leg anything. So I took my chances and wore low cut jeans — for better or for worse.

10 Mar 19
Consequence of Sound
The Pitch: Our collective Matthew McConaughey impression becomes sentient and gets played by the man himself in the latest from trash-culture provocateur Harmony Korine. As celebrated poet and eternal stoner Moondog, McConaughey spends his days baking away in the Florida Keys, immersed in an endless haze of sex, drugs, and spoken word performances. Across 95 minutes, his routine comes to involve a series of misadventures with Isla Fisher as his millionaire wife, Snoop Dogg as her lover, Jonah Hill as a Southern-dandy literary agent, Martin Lawrence as a war veteran who mistakes dolphins for sharks, Zac Efron as a crazed, JNCO-wearing drug addict, and Jimmy Buffet as Jimmy Buffet. Such a colorful list of characters probably makes the film sound more involved than it really is, but make no mistake, The Beach Bum is exactly what it sounds like: the misadventures of an eccentric, lovable dude being an eccentric, lovable dude. “Good times and riches…”: Except that it’s not. Sure, Korine told the SXSW audience at the film’s premiere that Moondog is a charismatic soul who just wants to spread positivity and have a good time. Here’s the thing, though: the character is an undeniably awful person. Whatever idiosyncrasies may exist never fully make up for the fact that he constantly lies, cheats, and enacts violence upon others whenever it suits him. At one point, he shoves a hapless tuba player off a dock. At another, he and Efron shove a senior citizen off his motor scooter so they can steal his money for drugs. He insults his daughter’s fiancee for being too stable, he shrugs off his friends and loved one getting severely injured or flat-out dying, and so on. All of it ends up played for laughs, rather than any kind of shock or horror. Granted, there are a few moments where the screenplay appears to be flirting with the idea that we too often excuse or reward despicable people — especially artists — simply because we find them talented and interesting. The speed and ease at which accolades are bestowed upon Moondog is absurd, and he and Hill even have a conversation about how being rich and famous now means that everyone else just has to accept your horrible behavior. Everything comes with laughable ease to Moondog, which could provide an opportunity for critique about how willing we are to give certain people of a certain demographic and a certain amount of wealth and power a pass. But the film never fully engages with those potentially fascinating contradictions. Instead, most of the screentime ends up devoted to Moondog’s dialogue about his love of Bacchanalian fun and how it gives him a greater connection to humanity and the universe as a whole. Couple that with Korine’s self-professed admiration for Moondog, and it’s clear that The Beach Bum is a celebration — not any kind of an indictment — of the title character. And he’s not nearly as goodhearted, warm, or positive as the filmmaker seems to think he is. “…and son of a bitches”: Glorifying that kind of toxic male genius plays a lot differently in 2019 than it did in 2015 or even 2017. Call me a snowflake or a pearl-clutcher or whatever, but context matters. And at the end of the day, it feels gross — not provocative — to watch a second-rate Hunter S. Thompson be a relentless shithead to everyone around him for an hour and a half, only to be forgiven because he writes poems about his dick (yes, the one stanza we constantly hear from Moondog is about his dick). And the only reason he can even afford to be a nonstop shit-head in the first place is because he’s financially supported by his wife. “If we couldn’t laugh…”: More importantly, Moondog’s antics aren’t all that funny or captivating, even when divorced from their assholery. None of Korine’s work to date has exactly been moralistic, but Gummo and Spring Breakers are both hypnotic in their escalation, in the way Korine was able to manipulate tone and transform geographically specific landscapes into places that became more and more nightmarish. The latter actually managed to be titillating, energetic, and fun — albeit cautionary. In The Beach Bum, however, it’s the same sun-baked atmosphere, tired stoner humor, and fortune-cookie platitudes from Moondog, over and over and over. His outlook and musings never evolve or amplify; they flatline almost as soon as the movie begins. Contrary to what everyone in his world seems to believe, he’s exhausting to hang out with before long. The Verdict: In his introduction of The Beach Bum at SXSW, Korine revealed he made the film because the world had become so serious over the past few years. But he ended up with something serious anyway, and something that only reinforces why everyone’s being so “serious” right now: an unintentional celebration of artistic male entitlement. Where’s It Playing? The Beach Bum ambles into theaters beginning March 29th. Red Carpet Gallery: London Seabreeze at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan   Trailer:
10 Mar 19
Consequence of Sound
The Pitch: Our collective Matthew McConaughey impression becomes sentient and gets played by the man himself in the latest from trash-culture provocateur Harmony Korine. As celebrated poet and eternal stoner Moondog, McConaughey spends his days baking away in the Florida Keys, immersed in an endless haze of sex, drugs, and spoken word performances. Across 95 minutes, his routine comes to involve a series of misadventures with Isla Fisher as his millionaire wife, Snoop Dogg as her lover, Jonah Hill as a Southern-dandy literary agent, Martin Lawrence as a war veteran who mistakes dolphins for sharks, Zac Efron as a crazed, JNCO-wearing drug addict, and Jimmy Buffet as Jimmy Buffet. Such a colorful list of characters probably makes the film sound more involved than it really is, but make no mistake, The Beach Bum is exactly what it sounds like: the misadventures of an eccentric, lovable dude being an eccentric, lovable dude. “Good times and riches…”: Except that it’s not. Sure, Korine told the SXSW audience at the film’s premiere that Moondog is a charismatic soul who just wants to spread positivity and have a good time. Here’s the thing, though: the character is an undeniably awful person. Whatever idiosyncrasies may exist never fully make up for the fact that he constantly lies, cheats, and enacts violence upon others whenever it suits him. At one point, he shoves a hapless tuba player off a dock. At another, he and Efron shove a senior citizen off his motor scooter so they can steal his money for drugs. He insults his daughter’s fiancee for being too stable, he shrugs off his friends and loved one getting severely injured or flat-out dying, and so on. All of it ends up played for laughs, rather than any kind of shock or horror. Granted, there are a few moments where the screenplay appears to be flirting with the idea that we too often excuse or reward despicable people — especially artists — simply because we find them talented and interesting. The speed and ease at which accolades are bestowed upon Moondog is absurd, and he and Hill even have a conversation about how being rich and famous now means that everyone else just has to accept your horrible behavior. Everything comes with laughable ease to Moondog, which could provide an opportunity for critique about how willing we are to give certain people of a certain demographic and a certain amount of wealth and power a pass. But the film never fully engages with those potentially fascinating contradictions. Instead, most of the screentime ends up devoted to Moondog’s dialogue about his love of Bacchanalian fun and how it gives him a greater connection to humanity and the universe as a whole. Couple that with Korine’s self-professed admiration for Moondog, and it’s clear that The Beach Bum is a celebration — not any kind of an indictment — of the title character. And he’s not nearly as goodhearted, warm, or positive as the filmmaker seems to think he is. “…and son of a bitches”: Glorifying that kind of toxic male genius plays a lot differently in 2019 than it did in 2015 or even 2017. Call me a snowflake or a pearl-clutcher or whatever, but context matters. And at the end of the day, it feels gross — not provocative — to watch a second-rate Hunter S. Thompson be a relentless shithead to everyone around him for an hour and a half, only to be forgiven because he writes poems about his dick (yes, the one stanza we constantly hear from Moondog is about his dick). And the only reason he can even afford to be a nonstop shit-head in the first place is because he’s financially supported by his wife. “If we couldn’t laugh…”: More importantly, Moondog’s antics aren’t all that funny or captivating, even when divorced from their assholery. None of Korine’s work to date has exactly been moralistic, but Gummo and Spring Breakers are both hypnotic in their escalation, in the way Korine was able to manipulate tone and transform geographically specific landscapes into places that became more and more nightmarish. The latter actually managed to be titillating, energetic, and fun — albeit cautionary. In The Beach Bum, however, it’s the same sun-baked atmosphere, tired stoner humor, and fortune-cookie platitudes from Moondog, over and over and over. His outlook and musings never evolve or amplify; they flatline almost as soon as the movie begins. Contrary to what everyone in his world seems to believe, he’s exhausting to hang out with before long. The Verdict: In his introduction of The Beach Bum at SXSW, Korine revealed he made the film because the world had become so serious over the past few years. But he ended up with something serious anyway, and something that only reinforces why everyone’s being so “serious” right now: an unintentional celebration of artistic male entitlement. Where’s It Playing? The Beach Bum ambles into theaters beginning March 29th. Red Carpet Gallery: Isla Fisher at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Martin Lawrence at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Jimmy Buffett and Martin Lawrence at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Isla Fisher at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Matthew McConaughey at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Matthew McConaughey at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Ricardo Matallana at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Harmony Korine at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Harmony Korine at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan London Seabreeze at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Jimmy Buffett at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Ricardo Matallana at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Stefania LaVie Owen at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Jimmy Buffett at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Matthew McConaughey at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Isla Fisher at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Jimmy Buffett at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Stefania LaVie Owen at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Jimmy Buffett at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Matthew McConaughey at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan Harmony Korine at The Beach Bum SXSW World Premiere, photo by Heather Kaplan   Trailer:
09 Mar 19
Jim's Midlife Crisis

We arrived at my daughter’s skating party shortly after sunset. The scent of the skating rink brought back unpleasant memories of my youth. My senses were overwhelmed with memories of sweaty kids, Jnco jeans, and 90’s music. The memories were unavoidable, as every skating rink in the world hasn’t changed a bit in thirty years. […]

07 Mar 19
Rock Your Lyrics

How do you usually write the lyrics of your songs? The melody always comes first. Perverse, isn’t it? (laughs) The lyrics should really be the genesis, shouldn’t they…I suppose I must lay the blame for that at the well-heeled feet of The Beatles. If a tune can’t get stuck in your head, what good are […]

07 Mar 19
The Goth Address

Grunge as it pertains to music and the overall aesthetic clothing wise I feel like doesn’t fall directly under ‘Goth’ but it is definitely a stem from it. Grunge culture from the 90s is easily associated with bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Alice in Chains; but it also gave way to skater culture as […]

05 Mar 19
The daily life, struggles and victories!!

Ok, I’ll be the first to admit it. I once was a name brand snob!! Throughout my childhood, I never went without. I was very fortunate. I always had food in my stomach and clothes on my back. I would say the only misfortune was that HORRIBLE bowl cut I had in elementary school. It’s […]

04 Mar 19
Allan's Resourceful Collective of Thoughts

This blog was once a collection of responses to a couple digitally-prodding questions from my professor. Not saying that things have changed, but I can definitely have a little fun with it while I’m at it. I was born in 1994, and I was also born in the Philippines. Two things that isolate my from […]

03 Mar 19
Habbo USDF - v3

Welcome to USDF! A “safe” place > “Safe” because most likely your IP Adress is on their records or somewhere exposed. Just think about it, people like Keeganmn… who was discharged because he’s a Child Predator and USDF KNEW that, guess what, everyone know that thanks to Vaulekai, the boy who slowly turn USDF with […]

03 Mar 19

I am already smiling at the idea of writing about our story. Our versions of the story may differ with narrative, ha ha, but the story never changes and always ends in laughter. I could simply tell you that Evan and I have known each other since middle school and let you believe we are […]

01 Mar 19

Projectillogics first wordpress book they call revelations new

Ai edit i need the energy from this one i wikl only be 33 for one more week theres other reasons why i said fucj it and sent it in at my side chained ride im older and now much more clever i got a boner god knows all stoners go to heaven did i […]