17 Feb 19
The Scottish Sun
HUGH BURNS is probably best known for spells at Rangers and Kilmarnock and is now a pundit on Rock Sport Radio.
Here he tells how Hearts team-mate Mike Galloway made a real splash on an end-of-season trip and also how a mouthy spectator at a Dunfermline reserve game got more than he bargained for.
Hugh Burns during his time with Larkhall FC
He also reveals how Gers boss Graeme Souness once compared him to Gary Stevens — but not in a good way!
ARF ARF. What is the funniest thing you’ve seen? I went on an end-of-season trip with Hearts to Palma Nova.
There was a curfew and Mike Galloway sneaked back into the hotel, climbed up a drainpipe, fell off it three flights up and crashed through the roof of the indoor pool into the water below.
If it hadn’t been for the water, he’d have been a goner. It took some smoothing over by Hearts.
Mike Galloway cracked Hugh Burns up
BOOK. What was the last one you read? Tony McCoy’s biography. It was good — the sacrifices he put himself through, and where he is now. I was gripped. It shows hard work pays off.
CAPS. What do you remember of your two Scotland Under-21 games? I was 19, Walter Smith was the manager.
My first was a qualifier and we drew 0-0 with Spain in Cadiz. That Spanish team went on to win the whole competition.
In those days, the Under-21s travelled with the big team, who lost 1-0 in Seville the next night. The other one was an afternoon game away to Iceland.
DOH. What is your most embarrassing moment? I played a reserve game for Dunfermline at East End Park and a guy was giving me dog’s abuse.
At time-up I chased him down Halbeath Road with my boots and strip on. I never caught him. Jim Leishman wasn’t pleased and I never played for them again.
Walter Smith handed Hugh Burns his Scotland under-21 caps
ENTER THE DRAGON. What is the best scrap you’ve seen? I was personally involved. At Hearts, I never got on with Gary Mackay.
He was the main man and I eventually had an almighty rammy with him in the players’ lounge. He’d made my life hell but I never had a problem with him after that.
FULHAM. How did that brief move come about? I went on loan with John Watson from Dunfermline.
It was a cracking club — Jimmy Hill was chairman, I met him and it was hard to shake his hand after singing terrible things about him at Scotland/England games.
GONNAE NO DAE THAT What annoys you? Murdo MacLeod’s smirk. He’s on Rock Sport Radio with me. I feel quite honoured to be working with him as he’s had a fantastic career.
He and I have gone toe-to-toe on air and host Bill Young had to calm us down. I do lose to him occasionally as he’s a good bit older than me!
Hugh Burns never got on with Gary Mackay at Hearts
HECKLER. What’s been the best or worst things someone’s shouted during a game? I played in front of the old Jungle at Celtic Park and I come from Larkhall, so I don’t have to spell it out.
IBROX. What’s it like being a Rangers TV matchday analyst? It was good while it lasted. Never say never. Let’s leave it like that!
JOCK WALLACE. Tell us something about him. One day I got told to go up the marble staircase to his office.
He said: “I want you to sign this three-year contract. You’ll get £300 a week if you’re in the first-team, half that in the reserves.”
I couldn’t sign fast enough. He added: “I’m still getting to know the players, where are you from?”.
I said: “Larkhall, gaffer.” He picked up his phone to his secretary and said: “Come in here, you need to change this contract to a five-year one.”
Hugh Burns signed Rangers deal while Jock Wallace was at the helm
KICK IN THE TEETH What’s your worst football moment? Getting released by Graeme Souness with three years of that contract left.
I joked at a supporters’ club dance about us being allowed moustaches — Rangers players weren’t back then but Souness had one.
The chairman, David Holmes, told Souness and my card was marked. It was a pity as I thought I’d be his type of player.
People still ask me about it. Souness compared me to Gary Stevens, who he brought in. He said: “Compared to Gary Stevens, you’re s***e!”.
LOUNGE SUIT. Who’s the worst-dressed person you played with? Two good pals of mine. John MacDonald and Bobby Russell. They’re tramps. Neither has had any style in 30 years.
MISTAKEN IDENTITY. Have you been mistaken for anyone? Gary McAllister, quite regularly. Which fits because we came through the same boys’ club team, Fir Park BC, and both our dads worked for British Steel.
Hugh Burns is often mistaken for Gary McAllister
NAE NONSENSE. Who wouldn’t you mess with? My mother. My dad, Jim, died last November so I see a bit more of her now. Wee Cathy still gives me a slap round the lug. The ‘Wrath of Cath’ gets respected.
OLIVER REED. Who would you like to share a drink with? I’m intrigued by Donald Trump. I gravitate towards people who aren’t well liked.
I met a guy who was a greenkeeper in Aberdeen and he said Trump had approached his men when he’d been over and gave all the workers a few quid. I’d love to chew the fat with him.
POP. Tell us about your late father. I still miss him, every day. He and my mother were together for 60 years and I’m their only child. I suffer from depression and between his death and a few other personal issues recently, there have been some difficult times.
I can genuinely relate to the issues that Neil Lennon’s had and also Kris Boyd losing his brother.
QUIVERING WRECK. What is your most nerve-wracking moment? Being named in the Rangers squad for the 1984 League Cup Final — just seeing my name on the travelling list to the hotel.
Ian Redford was suspended and Robert Prytz was injured so it was a fight between me and Derek Ferguson for a place.
The game was on a Sunday and Jock Wallace named the team on the Saturday night but not the two subs. Then we got to the game and it was “12 McAdam, 14 Burns”. I couldn’t get my top on quick enough!
Hugh Burns played under Graeme Souness at Rangers
ROCK SPORT. How do you enjoy the phone-ins? I’ve been on for five years now. Bill Young’s a strong character. He and I have plenty of arguments.
SOUNESS. How did it end under him at Rangers? My agent, Bill McMurdo, told me Davie MacPherson was the makeweight in the deal that took me to Hearts but it was actually the other way about.
I was the bait, it was Slim they wanted. Looking back, I shouldn’t have gone to another Scottish club. I could’ve gone to Bradford — they offered £100,000 and I turned it down.
TIME TRAVELLER. Which event in history would you like to have witnessed? Ally McCoist buying a round. He’s still got his first wage packet.
USELESS Who was the worst manager you worked under? Murdo signed me for Dumbarton and the next day he was appointed as manager of Partick.
Jim Fallon, the physio, took over at Dumbarton. He and I didn’t see eye to eye. He’d been a good player but he’d no motivational skills at all.
We’d have been better with Kieran Fallon.
[article-rail-curated title=”related stories” selected_posts=”3889948,3889881,3888577,3888139,3888462,3889204″ /]
VICTORY. What was your best moment in football? Getting on in that 84 League Cup Final and winning with McCoist’s hat-trick. I thought it would be the first of many — it turned out to be the only one.
WILD BOYS. What is the best night out you’ve had? Me, McCoist, Durranty and Fergie would have Sundays out. We’d get chucked out the Cricklewood in Bothwell then go on to Burnbank Masonic.
X-FILES. What is your strangest experience? We got knocked out of the Scottish Cup by Dundee then the next day got told to report to Ibrox with our passports.
We went to play Iraq in Baghdad. We met Saddam Hussein — he gave us all a pen. There were 70,000 soldiers at the game.
STEVIE COUL ON DEAL Gerrard opens up on Rangers loan ace Coulibaly’s future at Ibrox
YOU DON’T SAY. Tell us something about you we don’t know? I’m about to become a father again at 53. My daughter, Hannah, is 26. The wee one’s due on the Queen’s birthday!
ZICO. Who’s the best you’ve played with and against? Davie Cooper was the best I played with.
I used to pick him up before he could drive. We’d have arguments about how much petrol money he owed me.
The toughest opponent was Mark Walters, I’ve never played against anyone as talented as him.
Keep up to date with ALL the latest news and transfers from Scottish football plus fixtures, results and live match commentary
[bc_video video_id=”6002981433001″ account_id=”5067014667001″ player_id=”default” embed=”in-page” padding_top=”56%” autoplay=”” min_width=”0px” max_width=”640px” width=”100%” height=”100%” caption=”Newport manager Mike Flynn meets Pep Guardiola and describes him as an ‘absolute genius’ “]